The TrueSoldier Rants

The Thoughts of a Conservative mind.

This is Dam Funny

I received this via email, so I can not say if this is 100% true or not, but it would not surprise me to find out that it is:

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property.   It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania .   This guy’s response is hilarious, but read The State’s letter before you get to the response letter.

State of Pennsylvania ‘s letter to Mr. DeVries:  

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County  

Dear Mr. DeVries:
 
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property.  You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:    

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.  

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department’s files shows that no permits have been issued.  Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.  

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.   We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.  All restoration work shall be completed  no later than January 31, 2007.  

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.  Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..  

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.  

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.


Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County  

Dear Mr. Price,
 
 
Your certified letter dated 12/17/06 has been handed to me to respond to.  I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .  

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood “debris” dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.  While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials “debris.”  

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

 

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking.   As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?    

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.  

(Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several dam concerns.  My first dam concern is, aren’t the beavers entitled to legal representation?  The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation — so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.  
The Department’s dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.   In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.    

If you want the damed stream “restored” to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers — but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.  

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream.  They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.  If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers’ Dams).  

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2007? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area.  It is the bears!   Bears are actually defecating in our woods.  I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.  If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!  

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,  

RYAN DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS

 

 

December 15, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

The difference between lawyers in India and lawyers in the US….They get it

I saw this article on Foxnews.com.  It talks about the increased security measures and so on, but what really caught my eye was this:

 

Kasab, who was wounded and captured by police in the first hours of the Nov. 26 attack, has been repeatedly interrogated by authorities and reportedly offered key details about the planning of the assault and those responsible for it.

Many lawyers across the city, horrified by the attacks, have said they would not represent Kasab. On Thursday, Dinesh Mota, a lawyer asked by the court to defend Kasab, said he would refuse.

“I will not represent him, it is against all human values,” he said.

Here you have lawyers in India who actually get what terrorism is about, while in the US you have the ACLU and other ambulance chasers rushing to defend the GITMO detainees for reasons as petty as political posturing and fame.

December 11, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Story From Iraq

I received an email from a friend and co-worker who is stationed at one of the smaller outlying FOB’s (Forward Operating Base)in the North about something that happened out there that is, in my opinion, newsworthy.

Some local Iraqi’s shot a boar in town.  Now normally when a boar is shot the carcass is just discarded as rubbish due to religious belief about pork products.  Sometimes these carcasses end up the hiding spot for IED’s.  Neither of these things happened this time.  Instead, the Iraqi’s gave the boar to the soldiers at this FOB for them to roast.  This is a huge gesture in part by the Iraq’s to the US Military.  The Iraq’s did not have to do this at all, but wanted to as they heard that our troops at this outlying FOB do not have the greatest of food available to them.  They do not have a contracted chow hall like the bigger bases in Iraq do, so they don’t have nearly the selection or the preparation facilities that you see at the larger basses (baked beans are a staple out there from what I am told).  Another thing that this story shows is the spirit of giving.  The local Iraqi’s had no reason to give this boar to these soldiers, but saw that they could use it and gave it to them as a kind gesture and to say thank you for staying and giving them (the Iraq’s) a chance for a future. 

Now if that is not an inspiring Christmas Story I don’t know what is.

December 8, 2008 Posted by | Iraq | Leave a comment

Arlington National Cemetery

Below is from an email a very good friend of mine sent me.  If you have never been to Arlington National Cemetery you are missing out on one of our nations most moving historical sites you can see.  My wife and I had gone to DC on a site seeing trip and took our three year old son and two year old son to see the Tomb of the Unknown.  Even after the many hours of travel (we were stationed in Germany at the time) our two young boys watched in silent reverence as the guards performed their duty flawlessly.  Our boys still remember it to this day and they are now nine and ten.

 

 

This is really an awesome sight to watch if you’ve never had the chance.  Very fascinating.

 

 

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

  

 

 1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the

     tomb of the Unknowns and  why?

 

     21 steps:  It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which is

    the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

 

 

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face & begin his return walk & why?

 

    21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1

 

 

3. Why are his gloves wet?

 

    His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

 

 

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not?

 

    He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb.  After his march across the         path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder. 

 

 

5. How often are the guards changed?

  

   Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

 

 

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

 

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5′ 10′ and 6′ 2′ tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30.

 

They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.  

 

After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin. 

 

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.  There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery . A guard must memorize who they are

and where they are interred. Among the notables are: 

 

President Taft,

 

Joe Lewis {the boxer}

 

Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWII of Hollywood fame.

 

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for

guard duty.

 

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

 

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching  Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer,

 

‘No way, Sir!’ Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously,

 

24/7, since 1930.

December 1, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments